Archive for March, 2008

Naughty Baby

My baby is breach. Suddenly. Went from last weeks “looking great I think I feel a head you are at 1 cm” to todays “you are a good 2 cm and I need the ultrasound machine, I feel something that is either a hand or a butt.” It was a butt. The head is firmly planted right under my right rib cage. The saddest thing for me is that I can feel the left side by my ribs and there is clearly nothing there, but on the right side there is a firm round little (god damn mother fucking) head. GRRRR.

So we could have had an external version where he tries to move the baby back around. But then the baby could just go back to breach. We could wait and do nothing. We chose to do nothing. I go back in next Wednesday for my 39 week appointment and we will see then if the baby has moved or not. If I go into labor between now and then – we do an ultrasound and see if the baby has moved or not. If it moved, we proceed with vaginal birth. If it has not moved – I can either try to deliver vaginally with the baby breach or go for a c-section. Probably the one thing I fear more than a c-section (other than the obvious death/retardation/deformity) is having an emergency c-section. The last thing I want to do is be exhausted from labor, drugged on pain meds, not thinking clearly, and have to be suddenly rushed into an operating room without my husband to get a distressed baby out of me.

So. If I go into labor, and the baby is still breach, I will have a c-section. If the baby moves between now and when I go into labor, I will have a vaginal delivery. If I am still pregnant next Wednesday and the baby is still breach, we have to decide if we want to try an external version or not at that point. But obviously, the bigger the baby gets the less chance we have that it will turn or will respond to the version.

I am not a happy camper.


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More pics of baby stuff

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There are more on myspace too. I will post one more blog with a few more pics, but this site only allows 5 per post so I’m not going to continue with post after post of just pictures. You get the idea!

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Last night was different. I was having some BH like usual, but noticed after about the 4th one that they were not stopping. So I started paying closer attention to them and when they were coming without going crazy and getting a notebook and a pen and writing down the exact minute and all that bullshit. They were maybe every 20 minutes or so. I met Chris for dinner around 5:15 and on the way there I started having pain right above my belly button that would start in my back and radiate out to the front. Ugh. It was so painful in the restaurant that even Chris was asking me if I was going to be alright. I was. I got up to try and walk around a little, went to the bathroom, and had 2 contractions. Came back and kept contracting. But they weren’t painful or anything, just more uncomfortable and irritating to me. We come home and I go upstairs, get a glass of water and lay on my side; the old trick to stop the fake contractions. But they don’t stop. They kept up until after 9 o’clock!!! 5 or so hours of this shit!!! Chris kept asking if the baby was moving – this is his measure for everything – and the baby was moving A LOT. Much more than normal for that time of the day. Something was definitly going on in there.

“Shouldn’t you be writing these down?” Chris asked after one of the contractions. “It doesn’t matter, I am not going to the hospital tonight” was my response. Because here is what I know: If I a in labor, I will know it. Something will happen so that I cannot guess otherwise. Either I will continue to have contractions and they will continue to grow in their intensity until I can no longer stand them, at which point I will go to the hospital. Or, I will have contractions until my water breaks, at which point I will go to the hospital. At SOME point it is inevitable that one of these 2 things will happen. I do not have a need nor a desire to go to the hospital and be sent home. I have had 2 children and never been sent home, and I don’t intend to start now. I would much rather be in my own home, with my own things, than sitting or laying in some hospital waiting for them to tell me when I can leave or whatever. As long as my baby was moving, I could hear the heartbeat, and I was managing the pain, I wasn’t moving. Period.

So pretty much the contractions came and went throughout the night, but they didn’t keep me awake or anything. Whenever I would wake up to pee I would have one or two. I am still crampy feeling and having them every so often even now. But certainly I am not in labor. Perhaps on my way to labor, but it’s not happening, like, now. I told Chris if I want to go to my appt. on Monday having made any progress, I am going to have to go through this. I would much rather do it slowly over days and weeks and go to the hospital at 4 or 5 like I did with Alex than go in at the first signs and perhaps, yes, be admitted, but be at 1 or 2 and have to sit in the hospital prison with Pit running through my veins because I couldn’t let the little bean take its time.

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The eviction process has started! I am 1 cm dilated. Yippee!!! Of course, no effacement or anything yet – but hell maybe just maybe I wont be pregnant all the way till the 17th! I asked a very tired doctor who was busy delivering babies all day and night and still had more to go today if it was normal to dilate before effacing and he said not in 1st babies but after that anything can happen. I said “so 3 more weeks?” He said “it could be tonight, you just never know!” I highly doubt that, but maybe another 2 weeks. That just sounds better than three and a half weeks.

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Let me set the scene. Chris is driving and I am in the passenger seat, we are in the Tahoe. We had just had a nice lunch, went to Baskin Robbins for some dessert, and casually strolled around the shopping center in Granite Bay with that new sunglass store and Home Goods. We were heading on to either Target or Walmart, we weren’t exactly sure. We were coming up Douglas, from Granite Bay into Roseville, Kaiser was on our right. Chris must have said something incredibly funny, though right now I couldn’t recall what it was to save my life. But I was laughing, then suddenly choking. I couldn’t get any air at all, I was gasping/coughing/laughing when suddenly I vomit into my mouth. Chris was really driving fast, I remember everything looking like a blur outside the window as I glanced out to see if I should roll down my window. Unsure of what was happening, Chris continues to drive, but he is looking at me, then forward, then at me, forward, finally I swallow the vomit but I still can’t breathe. Like, at all. Then next thing you know a huge amount of throw up comes up. I’m trying to cover my mouth with my hand – it’s my Tahoe after all – and I am trying to roll down the window but the fucking thing is child locked. I have to breathe or I am going to pass out so as I breathe in I inhale all the vomit that is in my mouth and now my nose is clogged, my mouth is full, I am coughing, I am trapped in the mother fucking car, Chris is practically on 2 wheels squeeling around the corner and I am hitting the god damn door lock (I KNOW you are NOT laughing right now…!!!!!) finally I get the door open and barf outside, with one leg and half my body out the car and Chris holding onto my shirt with one hand and the steering wheel with the other. We stop, he throws me a napkin, I blow the barf out of my nose which makes me throw up again all over the side of my god damn truck and on the street. I realize that I really should have done my Kegels because everytime I cough or something pee comes out. Meanwhile my phone rings, who would be calling at a time like this? I yell (my sister, naturally). I think we sat there for about 3 and a half minutes with me wiping myself off, and Chris just looses it completely – he starts cracking up – now he can’t breathe, his eyes are watering, I am sitting in my own urine and vomit, my LORD!


Finally things are coming back together, he gingerly pulls away from the curb, and in the calmest and most serious voice he says “So. What happened?” And he is still alive.

Get this kid outta me.

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36 weeks today

Today I am officially 36 weeks. So many of my friends/fellow bloggers have their dates already. And even though some of them are 2 weeks after my due date, these are certain dates. Dates of c-sections or inductions. Dates that they know they will not go beyond. It is an end in sight. A light at the end of the tunnel. I do not have one of these dates. And while I really like the idea of allowing my body and my baby to decide when I will go into labor, and I do not want to rush this baby out of it perfect amniotic cocktail and into the painful harsh world, I desperatly want to meet my child. I am dying to know if it is a boy or a girl. I want the next phase of this. I want sleepless nights, breastfeeding, sore boobs, dirty newborn diapers, endless hours of pacing the hallway bouncing and patting and humming, rocking, swadling, singing, picking out the socks and hat to go with the matching onesie, spring day walks with an infant in my moby wrap. You get the idea. I want my baby. And I want it N-O-W. I want one more week, to 37 weeks (which is term) and then I want to have the baby. But I fear that I will go to the due date or beyond. And 4 weeks is really such a short amount of time. It is less than a month. But when you are looking so forward to something, time just stops. And in my world, time has stopped.

I lost more of my mp yesterday. We were taking the kids to the movies, and I made a pit stop before the movie started and there it was all over the toilet paper. This is the 2nd time it has happened. But I am not really having contractions, I have maybe 2 a day that take my breath away. There is no way those are doing a single thing except maybe getting my body ready for the real productive contractions. When I go in on Monday for my check up I don’t expect to have made any progress. I expect him to say I am still high, thick, and closed up! I know Alex came 10 days early, but he was a big baby and he was born 14 months after his sister. I think my body was so ready at that time. Anyway, I am in no way anticipating going into labor early, or even any time soon. But I am anxious for when it will be here. I feel that it would be an easier row to hoe if I knew a date.

I want to congratulate Kate and TD on the arrival of their little girl yesterday morning!! Kate is a fellow blogger who I found when I was brand new to blogging and I had just come home from my transfer. I was in the 2 ww and she had just come out of hers and was 5 weeks ahead of me. She helped me get through some anxious times and not stress out on every little symptom. I am so happy for them and for their new arrival. What a lucky little girl!

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